Crazy Pretty Day

So today was hands down the warmest nicest day of the year so far. The little man and I started the morning out going to music class, followed by a walk and flanked with baby Einstein dvd's and crawling. When the hubby came home, I had Whole Foods Sushi waiting, and we enjoyed some sake to complete the meal.

These days are truly rejuvenating. I really think that these are the times I will remember when I think back to my first born's baby years.

I know I have been slower on the blog posts this week, but I am trying to maintain the balance I set out to have when I decided to become part time. I think sometimes I get these ideas in my head and can't stop forging forward, at the expense of enjoying the moment.

Being part time gives me more dream time, and time to create the vision of what I want for the future. I know that someday I want to own my own business and be a WAHM, but I am trying not to get too ahead of myself by working during any free time I have. That time was meant for Little Man.

Priorities and Balance. The story of my life, and the theme of most of my posts these days.

Best of Both Worlds and not enough

So I wanted to discuss something that is near and dear to my heart. Working and/or being a stay at home mom. To each there own, but I have the luxury of working part time. This is more than a luxury, I am super lucky and blessed. Shortly before getting pregnant I landed my dream job in marketing. I am not only in marketing but I am in Search Engine Marketing. In my opinion this is the best place to be as a marketer. Our budgets are increasing at the expense of others. But that isn't the point of my post today. My point is more along the lines of "never enough".

I am a complete total perfectionist. I also have to see something from beginning to end. I do not feel comfortable with ambiguity. Which brings me to my problem. I feel in between both worlds and that I never get enough of either world. In the deepest part of me I want to be home full time with my baby. The other part which is almost as deep inside wants to work. I say almost because if I had to chose, which I don't, I would choose to be home.

The part of me that goes to work, is the part of me that believes in being an independent thinker and a woman who is not dependent on her husband. I hate to talk about what-if's but what-if something happened with my husband? What if it was up to me to support our house and life? Giving up my career wouldn't allow me to easily step into that role. I can't give up the security I have by working. It is comforting to know you have money coming in to help.

But I do feel that I am between both worlds and not doing either fully. Each and everyday I go to work, I chose to give up time with my son to go. Giving up that time with him better be worth it. But what defines worth? To me, I want to go to a place where I am important, needed, and where what I say counts. Yes, by getting a pay check my company tells me I am all those things. But I would be a liar if I said working at a large company makes me feel complete in the ways I defined.

I am assuming this is a internal battle of all moms. Everyone of us had a certain definition of ourselves before babies. I personally think that having a baby changed me, I mean "rocked my world" at the most primal level. It is an experience that makes you different in ways you cannot even describe.

I hope this post helps to put some words to a small part of that change...

Re-alignment, time managment, and family

So this weekend and early week has been about re-alignment. I am working on time management. Balance can be hard to find with work and family. Yes it is only Tuesday, but I feel refreshed already. Not in the rested way - when are we ever really rested -- but in the spiritual way. Family time really does fill me up inside. I have spent some good quality, in the moment time with the family over the past couple days.

Sunday it rained here, and I took two mini-naps with the little dude, and then we all went out in search of a new kitchen table. Monday we had a burger dinner on the grill, and then tonight we are back from pizza out.

Tomorrow the little man and I are going to story hour and then swimming. I am also going to take the morning off from working out, and watch the today show in my pjs.

We all need weeks like this sometimes.

LIttle Man's Birth Story

So I added some static pages to my profile including my little man's birth story which will hopefully live on in the digital format for years to come - I know very modern...

I would go on and on here about his digital scrap book as well. Sorry I am a computer nerd at heart. This post is supposed to be about post about my new static pages.

Particularly I want to open up my "Shop Mom" page to anyone who wants to advertise on my blog. This is free advertising space. I am doing this to support Mom businesses. Send me a note if you are interested. If I found your shop on my own I may have already added you!

If you are reading this post and it looks familiar but different it is because when I re-read it the post didn't flow. I feel like I am losing my mind today and cannot write...so I edited it and re-published.

I think it is time to go read and comment...

Don't bother Mommy - She is Busy Bulding her Brand - I Wish

So if you haven't heard there is a great article about Mommy Bloggers in the NY Times. I posted the full article on my marketing blog. It is a long article and I found myself reading it between fusses, so I am going to review here and then if you have time to read the whole article that would be great too.

Title: Don't Bother Mommy I am Busy Building my Brand - I don't love the title it. I am not saying I don't let Little Man fuss while I do things sometimes, but fuss while I build my brand - no - I wish. I let him fuss while I use the bathroom, or while I get 3 bags ready to take him to the pool, or while I prepare him a meal that he hates.

Content: The article is about a Mommy Blogging Bootcamp - the 411 on commenting, getting views, SEO (love it) and taking your blog to the next level. But the article goes it to things that I didn't know about and that I find very interesting, like the advertising disclosure law. The article concludes by discussing how corporate brands have found the blog-sphere to be a viable forum. Lastly the article points to some well know mommy bloggers who get a whopping 36,000 plus visitors a day! WOW.

My conclusions: I think this article is very interesting and I am glad the topic is getting some attention (esp from NY Times versus just Oprah). I would have never said a year ago that I would want to attend a blogging conference , but I do. I find blogging to be a refuge now. I find it to be a place to meet new people and to share thoughts with others. I find it to be authentic. That is not to say that there isn't ruddiness, but I can deal with that, because for this time in my life the pros outweigh the cons.

The things I should be doing...

Okay so my baby is napping on the couch beside me - okay whatever...I know that he should be in his crib - but I do not wake sleeping lions, I am enjoying some me time reading the blogs...oh oh - he might wake up...oh no eyes can't say open, I might have 5 or 10 more mins...probably 3 but in Mom free time that is like 20.

I should be making dinner now. I mean I am part time and today is my day off - but honestly I have been reading and commenting...so hey I am doing something good.

Okay last thing...this is more of a should not...but I can't help it...I really shouldn't feel guilty but I do...I feel like I cheated on myself. I used to blog all the time and I loved it...I don't know why I quit but I did...I guess I feel so different now that I am back. Why did I ever take it for granted before...I used to blog or be in the blog world every day and sometimes all day on Sundays...reading, commenting, added new things to my blog...

I guess I just feel like I am a new person blogging now...mommyhood does make you reinvent yourself as a woman.

I mean I started it a young eager professional, and I come to blog now as a refuge to read other peoples thoughts and feelings. I guess it is just different on the inside...it is me not you who has changed.

Well I better go on to make dinner while I have the chance - if I don't do it now I will be doing it with a 20 lbs 8 month old strapped in the Baby Bjorn...needs to happen now...god protect the back and shoulders!

Love, MG