Missing the Obgyn

So I feel like I was pregnant all of last year. I know it was really only 10 months - I don't buy the whole 9 month thing at all. 40 weeks is 10 months - and I need an extra 2 months of just sympathy - so pretty much I was pregnant for 12 months.

So every month I would go to the doctor. Fortunately I had an uncomplicated and relatively easy pregnancy so going to the doctor was a happy time. My husband and I would bond over the dilation circle poster, we would glow after hearing the heartbeat and the doctor would ask about life and send me on my merry way. In addition to the monthly visits I had my birthing class which was in the lobby of my OB. So the last month and half I was at the doctor weekly. These were very happy times.

With all this happiness and fond memories - I miss the doctor. It was a routine. A place I would go for my baby checkup. The baby check up gave me so much reassurance and such a feeling of comfort. I would wear my best maternity outfit to go for my checkups. At the end I would hang on every word the doctor would say - just waiting for my new arrival.

I am not saying I don't have all those happy feelings now - I do...in fact I have way more happy feelings. I just miss the regular feeling of going into the doctor. In some ways going to the doctor and that constant positive feeling, and reassurance is like a good relationship.

I can't imagine that I am alone in this feeling. I have just never heard anyone talk about it...plus I might look at someone oddly if they told me they missed the OB-gyn. But I do.

Almost 100 days left

So it is hard to believe that I have 115 days left of pregnancy. Today I was trying to figure out when and how my brother would come back to see his first ever nephew. Granted I know my parents are just being nice but my mom reminded me of her stillbirth and told me that I should just get my brother a plane ticket (he is broke, which is a whole different post), once the baby is for sure coming. Her suggestion was to have him come home right after the birth.

So for obvious reasons my mom doesn't open up about her miscarriage. It was way before me and with a previous husband, but as we get closer she does open up. I guess her stillbirth was at full term. She told me today what happened during the entire process. My dad softened it by reassuring me that I probably have better care than she had at the time. Needless to say it is scary.

Thoughts? Will the fear ever go away or is it something you always have to have in the back of your mind as a parent to be/parent?

The Heart of it All

Today I went to my 8 week checkup. I cannot believe it is 8 weeks! We had an ultrasound and I saw the little baby's heart beating. What a huge sigh of relief and a good feeling. My husband got tears in his eyes. We love our doctor and just know this is going to be an amazing journey!

The most

I am 100% by far the most impatient person I know. If you have been reading this blog, you my know that the husband and I are no longer avoiding baby. To him this means, no longer avoiding, to me, this means a lesson in waiting and remaining cool and collected. I am now in the famous 2 weeks waiting time. Not sure what to do to ease the questions in my mind, and how to calm the hope and wonder. Regardless, one thing that helps is the fact that those darn pregnancy tests are quite expensive. All you blogger Mom's out there, feel free to share your experiences. I would love to know. Oh yeah, and when couples are "seriously" trying I know what they are doing now, and how often, thanks to the internet.