Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Mall Whore and Granny Ho

I am a mall whore. My clothes come from Banana Republic, Gap, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft and Jcrew. I love tissue tees and the editor pants at Express. My underwear is from Victoria Secret and I usually smell like Sun Ripened Raspberry from Bath and Body Works.

So now that you know my qualifications, I can tell you this story.

My mom, my son's grandma, is a great woman - all 66 years of her. She changed her life and has lost over 50 pounds. She is showing girl power and wanting to flaunt it. When she had my brother and I she gave up her style and became a sweats mom. I don't see anything wrong with this.

Now that she has lost the weight she is kind of turning into a Granny Ho. We went to Filene's Basement (she only shops discount stores) and I had to pry her out of the juniors department. While I admit she had some cute clothes in her hand, there is a reason those t-shirts are for 14 year old girls. As a mall whore I know. I have experience with Forever 21 and H&M. I know what nicer cuts and fabrics do for a figure. I also know to stay out of Macy's Juniors department. I probably shouldn't really even be in Forever 21 or H&M. But my extensive time slutting around the mall and philanthropic support of all the mall stores qualifies me to know that there is a time and place for the juniors department (bachelorette party attire).

I feel like this is the problem with discount stores and potential Granny Ho's. The discount stores are for professional mall whores only. Those of us who know our stuff. Even designer brand whores can get in trouble there. See discount stores have Seven jeans that didn't sell.

I am not knocking discount stores. I guess I just think they should come with a Granny Ho disclaimer. Or a shop at your own risk sign. Malls have it all planned out. If I take the Granny Ho to a mall she heads right for J-Jill or Chicco's. These are her type of stores.

We have a baby shower for a friend coming up. I am going to pee my pants laughing if the Granny Ho shoes up in another Junk Food Tee. I love her though - the ho bag slut that she can be at times.

5 comments:

Dr. Heckle said...

I don't know what editor pants are... Are they made out of newspaper? :P

Chelle said...

Lmao! I love this post!!! And it's SO true!

I know LOTS of "granny ho" types that need to stay. away. from the jr department :)

Cute post, hun! xo

Kristy said...

That's great! Go, granny!

珮瑜 said...

量力而為,別勉強了,Cut your coat according to your cloth..............................................

AmiraE_Ta said...

5278av影片 洪爺自拍密錄館影音視訊聊天室 a片下載 彩虹視訊交友網 後宮電影線上a片免費看 xvediox 歐美av無碼影片下載 男人幫論壇 av 短片免費看 紅櫻桃愛情小說 援交友留言桃園無碼a片 網愛交友網elove kk777視訊俱樂部 影音視訊聊天室 完美女人視訊聊天室 383成人34c檳榔西施自拍照片 wii無雙遊戲網,電玩快打小遊戲 sex520免費電影 show-live視訊85cc 視訊聊天 18成人貼圖區 新竹援交自拍 qq 美女貼圖片區 ol 線上免費影片 辣妹有約台北援交 視訊交友高雄網 視訊聊天花漾 mmbox視訊網 無碼dvd,夜未眠成人影城 聊天室ilover99 jpkiss 線上成人影片 aio 網路交友愛情館 台灣18成人網 豆豆出租情人視訊 黑澀會美眉的即時通 xx369色女人專用 aaio辣妹視訊 交友聊天室meet520 微風成人vi467 視訊情人辣妹080 18免費成人影城 080視訊聊天室swam 禁忌書屋成人小說網 人妻的秘密結局 百分百成人圖片區 台南視訊 人妻AV影片 av影片,比基尼美女的奶 電話網愛視訊交友 18禁遊戲