Please don't judge, but I am getting a cleaning service and going back to work full time. You see, I know this is counter to all the things I want in life...to be self employed and staying home with my baby (and future ones) but I am just not there yet. I know all of you have been there with me through the ups and downs and postpartum mess that I was.
I know that I haven't been posting that much lately and this is in part why I have not been writing as much. It isn't because I have been busy working. My first week back is really this week. It is because to write the post about going back full time is admitting it to myself.
I am so conflicted that I am leaving my little one...but I know all the mom's out there understand the conflict. At times I question if this conflict just exists no matter what when you have a kid.