The Mall Whore and Granny Ho

I am a mall whore. My clothes come from Banana Republic, Gap, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft and Jcrew. I love tissue tees and the editor pants at Express. My underwear is from Victoria Secret and I usually smell like Sun Ripened Raspberry from Bath and Body Works.

So now that you know my qualifications, I can tell you this story.

My mom, my son's grandma, is a great woman - all 66 years of her. She changed her life and has lost over 50 pounds. She is showing girl power and wanting to flaunt it. When she had my brother and I she gave up her style and became a sweats mom. I don't see anything wrong with this.

Now that she has lost the weight she is kind of turning into a Granny Ho. We went to Filene's Basement (she only shops discount stores) and I had to pry her out of the juniors department. While I admit she had some cute clothes in her hand, there is a reason those t-shirts are for 14 year old girls. As a mall whore I know. I have experience with Forever 21 and H&M. I know what nicer cuts and fabrics do for a figure. I also know to stay out of Macy's Juniors department. I probably shouldn't really even be in Forever 21 or H&M. But my extensive time slutting around the mall and philanthropic support of all the mall stores qualifies me to know that there is a time and place for the juniors department (bachelorette party attire).

I feel like this is the problem with discount stores and potential Granny Ho's. The discount stores are for professional mall whores only. Those of us who know our stuff. Even designer brand whores can get in trouble there. See discount stores have Seven jeans that didn't sell.

I am not knocking discount stores. I guess I just think they should come with a Granny Ho disclaimer. Or a shop at your own risk sign. Malls have it all planned out. If I take the Granny Ho to a mall she heads right for J-Jill or Chicco's. These are her type of stores.

We have a baby shower for a friend coming up. I am going to pee my pants laughing if the Granny Ho shoes up in another Junk Food Tee. I love her though - the ho bag slut that she can be at times.

I think butts are hilarious.

I swear butts are hilarious. So I was sitting in this guys office at work for a meeting. The guy is one of those guy's guy types. You know the guy at the office who you can see saying, "bros before hos" and all that college bullshit. The guy who is the ring leader of the boys club. Yeah that is him. In any case he had a college football poster hanging up. Seriously the whole poster was all butts. If I had pointed it out I wonder if he would take it down thinking it was "gay". Does the fact that it is football negate any potential "gayness"??

The other thing I think is so funny about butts is the different shapes and sizes. For something that everyone has they come in so many different varieties. There are certain butts I find extra funny though. I think men with huge wide asses are so funny. Those aren't meant to be on men, especially when they are disproportionately wide. I also find what I call vulgar butts hilarious. To me a vulgar butt is the type of butt that cannot help but eat the pants the person is wearing. Sometimes when I see someone who really shakes their vulgar butt I sing the thong song to myself. It makes me think butts are even funnier. I sing in my head, "She had dumps like a truck truck truck. Thighs like what..." So funny!

Twas the night before Mother's Day

So it is the eve of my first Mother's Day. I must say that this has been the happiest year of my life, next to the year before I was married. Being a mother completes me. It is challenging, yet rewarding, and enjoyable. Reflecting on the experience, however brings up some things that I have learned. These learning(s) call for a list:

1. Breastfeeding isn't easy, natural, and instantaneous. For my son and I it was alot of work, learning, tears (for both of us). In the end, I am so happy we made it though the journey, and over the next 3 or 4 months, we will enjoy the home stretch of the journey.
2. Tripping into motherhood is common. The baby blues are for real, and beyond the baby blues I can still say that I do not feel "normal" even 8 or 9 months postpartum. It took 9 months to build everything up and I believe it takes a while to come down from all of those changes
3. The worry list goes on and on, and will never end.
4. Our family is stronger and better bonded than ever before. We also laugh more.
5. Fatherhood is pretty darn hard too.
6. I love my little man more than all the love I have ever had for anything times 1000!
7. Everyday brings on new concepts, and changes
8. You can never really relax in the same way again
9. You can never ever turn your back in the same way either
10. You never want to go back to a time when you weren't a mother.

Happy Mother's Day - to All!

My gifted baby

Okay I don't mean to sound like I am bragging. I swear my baby is gifted. I know it is because of all of the DHA in my milk, and all the essential fatty acids I ate while pregnant.

He is 8 months and he has figured out the shape sorter. Granted, I show him how to do it everyday.

I am realistic. I know my baby is the smart, athletic, ladies man type. I am going to have to have the girls line up.

Today, I am a proud parent, of a crawling, babbling, clapping, spit bubble blowing baby! And I love it.

World Press Freedom Day

Yes, I am a day late. But it is worth mentioning that yesterday was World Press Freedom Day, at least according to Google. What is this about? Well - it is about the dangerous work that journalists (traditional and bloggers) do to get information from various parts of the world.

There are parts of the world where journalists are not safe. Violent crimes are committed, the press is not protected, and furthermore the criminals are not punished.

World Press Freedom Day brings awareness to this cause.

If you would like to read more about World Press Day on Google's blog then follow the link below.

I can be a bit of a news junkie, and today I am thinking of those who put their lives in danger to bring the news to a 53 inch flat screen in my living room.

http://googlepublicpolicy.blogspot.com/2010/05/celebrating-world-press-freedom-day.html

Crazy Pretty Day

So today was hands down the warmest nicest day of the year so far. The little man and I started the morning out going to music class, followed by a walk and flanked with baby Einstein dvd's and crawling. When the hubby came home, I had Whole Foods Sushi waiting, and we enjoyed some sake to complete the meal.

These days are truly rejuvenating. I really think that these are the times I will remember when I think back to my first born's baby years.

I know I have been slower on the blog posts this week, but I am trying to maintain the balance I set out to have when I decided to become part time. I think sometimes I get these ideas in my head and can't stop forging forward, at the expense of enjoying the moment.

Being part time gives me more dream time, and time to create the vision of what I want for the future. I know that someday I want to own my own business and be a WAHM, but I am trying not to get too ahead of myself by working during any free time I have. That time was meant for Little Man.

Priorities and Balance. The story of my life, and the theme of most of my posts these days.

Best of Both Worlds and not enough

So I wanted to discuss something that is near and dear to my heart. Working and/or being a stay at home mom. To each there own, but I have the luxury of working part time. This is more than a luxury, I am super lucky and blessed. Shortly before getting pregnant I landed my dream job in marketing. I am not only in marketing but I am in Search Engine Marketing. In my opinion this is the best place to be as a marketer. Our budgets are increasing at the expense of others. But that isn't the point of my post today. My point is more along the lines of "never enough".

I am a complete total perfectionist. I also have to see something from beginning to end. I do not feel comfortable with ambiguity. Which brings me to my problem. I feel in between both worlds and that I never get enough of either world. In the deepest part of me I want to be home full time with my baby. The other part which is almost as deep inside wants to work. I say almost because if I had to chose, which I don't, I would choose to be home.

The part of me that goes to work, is the part of me that believes in being an independent thinker and a woman who is not dependent on her husband. I hate to talk about what-if's but what-if something happened with my husband? What if it was up to me to support our house and life? Giving up my career wouldn't allow me to easily step into that role. I can't give up the security I have by working. It is comforting to know you have money coming in to help.

But I do feel that I am between both worlds and not doing either fully. Each and everyday I go to work, I chose to give up time with my son to go. Giving up that time with him better be worth it. But what defines worth? To me, I want to go to a place where I am important, needed, and where what I say counts. Yes, by getting a pay check my company tells me I am all those things. But I would be a liar if I said working at a large company makes me feel complete in the ways I defined.

I am assuming this is a internal battle of all moms. Everyone of us had a certain definition of ourselves before babies. I personally think that having a baby changed me, I mean "rocked my world" at the most primal level. It is an experience that makes you different in ways you cannot even describe.

I hope this post helps to put some words to a small part of that change...