Vacation

I think that Yahoo with their pretty picture and features on the homepage should be banned at work.  Seriously.  I looked today and there was an article about deserted beaches.  Seriously yahoo?!  I want to be on the beach so badly - and it doesn't even have anything to do with anything other than the beauty and sereneness.  I swear work will be the end of me.  It is so stressful.  I would give anything to just pick up and move to the coast with my baby, husband, and computer.  I would just blog by the sea.  Wouldn't that be the dream?!  My adsense bringing home the bacon.

Then again do you think I would be a boring blogger?!  Who wants to read all day about the perfect blogger who sits on the beach all day?  I sort of like reading about poop mishaps and work blunders.  So I guess all in all it isn't so bad.  Plus by husband always says that we should never live where we vacation.  I completely don't understand that - but if I convince myself it would make me boring...well then I guess I could agree.


But the people in Key West who roam and just stay there always look so happy and tan!

Rainy Sunday

I have taken the 31 Days to a Better Blog Challenge and one of tasks is to make a list post, honestly I have really struggled with ideas, but I will write a list of my favorite things to do on a rainy Sunday - because you guessed it - today it is a rainy day.

1.  Read a book with my baby
2.  Watch TV with my baby and get hugs in between his running around
3.  Go for a sun tan lotion free swim in the indoor pool
4.  Go to spinning class
5.  Eat some chocolate ice cream
6.  Stay in my PJ's all day

Bride Wars

Okay does anyone else think this school teacher who has her wedding day on the same day as Chelsey Clinton is making a huge deal out of nothing?!  I mean get over it!  I think she is being super selfish to her guests.  First of all she is really milking this opportunity to get 5 minutes of fame.  Secondly, she claims she isn't a bridezilla and I completely disagree.

If I was invited to her wedding and I had RSVP'd "no" I am pretty sure I would be calling to say I could make it after all.  I mean I am superficial and I would totally want to accidentally bump into famous people.   I would get a last minute gift off the registry too.  She is getting all bridezilla and not thinking about her guests who I am pretty sure would want to brag about running into Obama and family.   Plus from what I read she has been engaged and planning this wedding for two years!

I don't even really buy the whole two year thing.  If she has really been planning the wedding for two years anyway I am sure she is the type to make her guest sit through a painful 1 hour ceremony.  I mean this is completely uncalled for.  If the two years thing is what I think - then she is more than likely giving it up, living with the dude, and trying to get him to just put the rest of the ring on it and shut up.  I know how this stuff works.

So get over it...let your guests get tied up in a start studded weekend and enjoy the horse and pony show I am sure the Clinton's are putting out - happy wedding!

Business Casual

I work at a large ass company. The people that work at my company come in many different shapes and sizes. There is also a very wide interpretation of what it means to be business casual. The other day I saluted one woman's interpretation with a conversation in the elevator. Of course this conversation took place entirely in my head - and now on my blog.

Me: Hey goth girl with large nose

Goth Girl: Hey J-crew bitch

Me: What possessed you to wear patent black 4 inch stripper heals that make your calves clinch to work today?

Goth girl: I am not sure, the same thing that made you decide to wear gold ballet flats to work - I thought they would look nice with my dress.

Me: Yeah that dress is great. It is super tight and I can totally see that in the elevator reflection you like the way it makes your cleve look. Plus the black lace cardigan will keep you warm in our over air conditioned corporate tower.

Goth girl: Well speaking of the boob area - your cotton J-crew dress covers up your nursing bra nicely. You should go milk those things soon - swush swush.

Me: Thanks bitch, err Wednesday - how long did it take you to get to work from the dark mansion you call your home?

Goth Girl: Faster than you from your suburban cookie cutter house.

Me: Exiting the elevator - Have a good day.

As I exited the elevator I kept thinking - where on earth could that girl possibly work? There are so many exciting possibilities in our large company. Perhaps Goth is considered part of the new diversity initiative. I even went as far as to do a quick Google search but all the pages about "Goth Corporate Jobs" had white text on a black background so I got super dizzy and wanted to take some drugs. For now I am going to stick with my best guess - accident claims?. A bit disgusting, and probably totally racist for me to have this thought - but - it satisfies me for now.

Will everybody just chillax?

Will everyone just chill the fuck out about Bristol Palin's engagement?

Is there one person in this world that doesn't agree that her Mom is probably so up in her relationship? If rebelling for this chick is getting engaged without her mom's knowledge then Sarah needs more things to worry about. Maybe she can go down and plug the oil spill with her dick.

Bristol already had a baby so it is confirmed that she has had sex. Now the only thing worse she could do is become a druggie. Becoming a druggie would be super easy for her too, because her finacees mom did a small amount and got put in some scary Alaskin (yep I said Alaskin) jail for drugs sometime during the campaign. Really who can blame her? I am pretty sure if my son was dating Sarah Palin's daugher then I might dabble in a little something something too.

And really I don't even think having sex is that big of a deal - was she like 16? Okay that is young but I am pretty sure that Bristol was exposed to adult things at an early age. I guarantee that dinner at the Palin's was all about really adult things like politics and oil. I think sex is just part of politics and oil. What politician that is really into oil isn't banging an entire block of women? Most of those women are hot too. Oil makes men rich, hot women like rich men. I know how this shit works.

So I don't think the whole thing is that big of a deal.

Giveaway - C.O Bigelow - $49.50 - Value and perhaps more

Who doesn't love LEMON! I am doing a pretty sweet givaway - it is running starting today - until July 31st - why July 31st - well because it is an arbitrary date I picked on my calendar.

I will be giving away: the C.O. Bigelow® Lemon Body Cream (Jar) Special Limited Edition 32oz - value 49.50

Here is a sexy pic:

I will be drawing the results using Randomizer.org

Here is how to enter:



1 Entry - Subscribe to this Blog
1 Additional Entry - Subscribe to my other mom blog: http://www.powellmom.com
1 Additional Entry - Tweet about this Giveaway
1 Additional Entry - Tweet about my new blog http://www.powellmom.com
10 Additional Entrys - Write a post about my Powell Mom blog explaining how I am a mommy blogger that is going local with 2 links included asking people to check it out and subscribe

As you can tell - I am pretty stoked about this giveaway - but wait - there is a catch - if my new blog http://www.powellmom.com gets to 100 subscribers then the first person who enters this givaway will get a $100 dollar TARGET gift card - who doensn't go to TARGET? If my new blog www.powellmom.com gets to 200 subscribers I will be doing a $200 dollar gift card to the first person who enters! There is no limit on entries. Remember to post a comment and tell me what you did!! And if you are first - then work-it girl! Cause you could be going shopping at Target!!

GOOD LUCK

I am such a crime fighter

Last week I drove my friend Jen to work.

Jen: I probably pass you everyday on the way into work

Me: I don't like to rush in the morning - I would rather enjoy my morning commute eating my bagel, drinking my coffee and listening to my pump up music.

Jen: Yeah but I hate being in traffic - it makes me cuss and drive erratically - I get road rage.

So today while I was sitting in traffic drinking my coffee and listening to Akon - I am pretty sure I saw a murderer or someone that did something to result in major blood spatter on their back plate. If I had been rushing like Jen I never would have noticed the car in front of me. The license plate had dark brown crusty stuff all over it. I am convinced it was blood. Seeing as I was afraid to make eye contact, I simply noted the fact in my mind. I looked at the car and there didn't appear to be any dents or dings so I think the person who clearly ran someone over must have moved the license plate to a different car as part of the cover up.

You see if I hadn't been taking my time waiting in traffic to go to work I would never have noticed this vehicle.

Now the next logical question would be did I report the mess of a license plate that I saw - no - because for all I know this person had a valid reason. I mean if I have a small list of people that I might tap with my car. Just a warning tap.

I would give Perez Hilton a warning tap...all the other bloggers talked about Miley's crotch - but Perez posted pictures. I think that is just wrong. I would also give Lindsey Lohan a tap with my car. She is so fucking annoying. She thinks that being nasty skinny drugged out and going to jail matters. I am so sick of Lindsey Lohan taking up spots on the superficial.com. I am tired of her boney ass. I would rather read drama from some other successful actress. Dakota Fanning hasn't flashed her cooch yet - make room for someone else Lo-ho.

This is why rushing around serves no purpose in the morning. Take your time going to work.

Missing the Obgyn

So I feel like I was pregnant all of last year. I know it was really only 10 months - I don't buy the whole 9 month thing at all. 40 weeks is 10 months - and I need an extra 2 months of just sympathy - so pretty much I was pregnant for 12 months.

So every month I would go to the doctor. Fortunately I had an uncomplicated and relatively easy pregnancy so going to the doctor was a happy time. My husband and I would bond over the dilation circle poster, we would glow after hearing the heartbeat and the doctor would ask about life and send me on my merry way. In addition to the monthly visits I had my birthing class which was in the lobby of my OB. So the last month and half I was at the doctor weekly. These were very happy times.

With all this happiness and fond memories - I miss the doctor. It was a routine. A place I would go for my baby checkup. The baby check up gave me so much reassurance and such a feeling of comfort. I would wear my best maternity outfit to go for my checkups. At the end I would hang on every word the doctor would say - just waiting for my new arrival.

I am not saying I don't have all those happy feelings now - I do...in fact I have way more happy feelings. I just miss the regular feeling of going into the doctor. In some ways going to the doctor and that constant positive feeling, and reassurance is like a good relationship.

I can't imagine that I am alone in this feeling. I have just never heard anyone talk about it...plus I might look at someone oddly if they told me they missed the OB-gyn. But I do.

Pervert Alert

So I started a new blog! And I got my very first pervert search according to my google analytics. The search term was "naked wife pictures in ohio" Okay so you might ask how in the hell that is relevant to my blog. Well, my new blog is a local blog - and I also wrote a post on all the things my husband will do for a free lunch - including posting naked wife pictures. Okay that is totally a joke - he would NEVER do that, but that isn't the point. The point is that in trying to be funny I got a perverted searcher.

Happy Sunday!