Sunday, July 18, 2010

Business Casual

I work at a large ass company. The people that work at my company come in many different shapes and sizes. There is also a very wide interpretation of what it means to be business casual. The other day I saluted one woman's interpretation with a conversation in the elevator. Of course this conversation took place entirely in my head - and now on my blog.

Me: Hey goth girl with large nose

Goth Girl: Hey J-crew bitch

Me: What possessed you to wear patent black 4 inch stripper heals that make your calves clinch to work today?

Goth girl: I am not sure, the same thing that made you decide to wear gold ballet flats to work - I thought they would look nice with my dress.

Me: Yeah that dress is great. It is super tight and I can totally see that in the elevator reflection you like the way it makes your cleve look. Plus the black lace cardigan will keep you warm in our over air conditioned corporate tower.

Goth girl: Well speaking of the boob area - your cotton J-crew dress covers up your nursing bra nicely. You should go milk those things soon - swush swush.

Me: Thanks bitch, err Wednesday - how long did it take you to get to work from the dark mansion you call your home?

Goth Girl: Faster than you from your suburban cookie cutter house.

Me: Exiting the elevator - Have a good day.

As I exited the elevator I kept thinking - where on earth could that girl possibly work? There are so many exciting possibilities in our large company. Perhaps Goth is considered part of the new diversity initiative. I even went as far as to do a quick Google search but all the pages about "Goth Corporate Jobs" had white text on a black background so I got super dizzy and wanted to take some drugs. For now I am going to stick with my best guess - accident claims?. A bit disgusting, and probably totally racist for me to have this thought - but - it satisfies me for now.

8 comments:

Chelle said...

Black lace cardigan?! I'm not sure I've even seen one in real life before, haha!

Maybe she was someone's secret lover going to surprise them...

~Mrs. Guru~ said...

LOL, I am sorry but that was funny! I tend to have conversations in my head as well.

Jenny said...

you are totally hilarious! i think i have had a couple of those conversations to myself in elevators!

李宗蓮李宗蓮 said...

人不可以求其備,必捨其所短,取其所長............................................................

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Kristy said...

There is much drama at my job around Friday casual. There is always much complaining and some rebelling. It is fun to watch. No flip flops???! No JEANS???! No HOODIES???! But, it's Friday! My boss says, "I'm sick of seeing people working here that look like they should be doing yard work."

王美妹 said...

真正仁慈的人,會忘記他們做過的善行,他們全心投入現在的工作,過去的事已被遺忘。..................................................

*~Dani~* said...

Maybe she works at the company across the hall from me. They do something with carpets. The wide variety of outfits (and people!) that come out of that place is baffling.

Or she could work with us where one woman I know where these "sandals" that are basically like her walking around barefoot. She does not have the feet for that (not many do!).