I am such a crime fighter

Last week I drove my friend Jen to work.

Jen: I probably pass you everyday on the way into work

Me: I don't like to rush in the morning - I would rather enjoy my morning commute eating my bagel, drinking my coffee and listening to my pump up music.

Jen: Yeah but I hate being in traffic - it makes me cuss and drive erratically - I get road rage.

So today while I was sitting in traffic drinking my coffee and listening to Akon - I am pretty sure I saw a murderer or someone that did something to result in major blood spatter on their back plate. If I had been rushing like Jen I never would have noticed the car in front of me. The license plate had dark brown crusty stuff all over it. I am convinced it was blood. Seeing as I was afraid to make eye contact, I simply noted the fact in my mind. I looked at the car and there didn't appear to be any dents or dings so I think the person who clearly ran someone over must have moved the license plate to a different car as part of the cover up.

You see if I hadn't been taking my time waiting in traffic to go to work I would never have noticed this vehicle.

Now the next logical question would be did I report the mess of a license plate that I saw - no - because for all I know this person had a valid reason. I mean if I have a small list of people that I might tap with my car. Just a warning tap.

I would give Perez Hilton a warning tap...all the other bloggers talked about Miley's crotch - but Perez posted pictures. I think that is just wrong. I would also give Lindsey Lohan a tap with my car. She is so fucking annoying. She thinks that being nasty skinny drugged out and going to jail matters. I am so sick of Lindsey Lohan taking up spots on the superficial.com. I am tired of her boney ass. I would rather read drama from some other successful actress. Dakota Fanning hasn't flashed her cooch yet - make room for someone else Lo-ho.

This is why rushing around serves no purpose in the morning. Take your time going to work.